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A 2025 Queer and Trans Wedding Guide

Advice, Wedding

Your love story is unique and your wedding should reflect that story. While traditional wedding planning advice can be helpful, queer weddings hold the exciting opportunity to break free from expectations and create a celebration that’s true to themselves. We can embrace being ourselves on our own terms. Here are five tips to get you started on planning a wedding that’s both meaningful and unforgettable.

1. Bring Your Vision to Life the Authentic Way

This is your day to celebrate your love on your terms. Even if someone is paying for a big chunk of the day; try to stick to your guns on the important things. Don’t feel pressured to conform to outdated cisheterosexual traditions and feel free to avoid playing into the gender binary. Ditch the parts that don’t bring you joy and lean into the things that make you feel energized as equals. Have your vision brought to life by taking the time to plan out all the little details. It can often be smaller details that really stick with the guests at these events. Something like giving them a life succulent to go home with, having a macaroni and cheese bar, or having a little open mic part of the night to highlight folks memories with you both.

Don’t hold back when putting your heart into those sentimental, nostalgic details is all I’m saying. Get really creative by imagining theme, incorporating branding or symbolism, and creating lots of little moments for intrinsic joy.

Be boldly you by wearing your best gender affirming fits on your day and who cares if it feels “extra” to go over the top with outfit changes; do it big or do it comfy. Your second outfit can be whatever you desire. I’ve seen people dress up as a fairy for the reception and I’m stealing the idea of changing into sweats once the dance floor opens. You can assume I’ve seen so many glorious, meticulously put together queer outfits in my career of fifteen years now. Some bought from affirming plus size dress shops like Loud Bodies, ethically sourced wedding rings from Automic Gold and some custom designed pieces from artists on Etsy. Clothing is really personal to some of us, if that is you feel free and please do put your heart into it!

2. Find Safe Vendors Who Celebrate You Daily

This year my goal is to finalize a vendor referral network for my clients. I’ve worked with tons of different vendors in my lifetime of doing this artwork. I’ve collaborated with other photographers, divine caterers who know how to do gluten free right, DJs who know how to keep the floor bumping and imaginative florists who dazzle with their arrangements.

There is one thing to keep in mind above all other things; how are they giving back to the queer community?

This is, after all, your day. Trust is so hard in this world right now. Many people are desperate for a good payday and skimp out on the means to get there at your expense. Most people starting their business do not have any previous education or experience in running one. You can imagine, people see the pricing for wedding day services and think it entails a lucrative profit or life of travel. The reality of running a small business that is legally operational year round is a lot of overhead costs and a very central need for Standard Operating Procedures to ensure clients are well served.

You don’t want micro-aggressions or continuous misgendering. Research their business pillars to see how they operate and look for reviews from other queer and/or trans couples to ensure there is trust. If their website is void of clients like you; you’re going to have a bad time. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and ensure they understand how to best help you while respecting they don’t know it all. Trust in their about me page telling you what you need to know. One of my new favorite places to find queer owned businesses is Everywhere Is Queer. I’ve been listed on here as well as some other folks who want to be on the map to reach our community.

3. Reimagine Traditions (or Ditch Them!):

Traditions can be a fun way to add structure and meaning to your wedding, but they shouldn’t limit your creativity. Feel free to modify them to fit your story or create new ones entirely. You can have both marriers walk each other down the aisle, have your chosen siblings give toasts instead of a best man and maid of honor, or ditch the bouquet toss altogether. I’ve even seen some folks bring animals up for adoption to their weddings, so guests can pet the kittens and take one home if they liked.

4. Celebrate Your Community:

Your wedding is a chance to celebrate your love with the people who matter most. Invite friends and family who support your relationship, and consider incorporating elements that represent your community. This could involve featuring music by LGBTQ+ artists, hiring a queer officiant, or having a table to honor lost friends and family. You can use your wedding to fundraise for a certain organization you’re passionate about supporting. People love working towards a bigger cause together.

5. Focus on the Love:

Above all, remember that your wedding is about celebrating your love for each other. Don’t get bogged down in the stress of planning, and prioritize the moments that truly matter. There will be times when you’ll feel overwhelmed, just know it is a normal emotional response to planning such an event. Take a step back when you need the break, believe in your vision, appreciate the journey, and allow yourselves to be present in the joy of your special day.

With a little creativity and these tips in mind, you can plan a queer wedding that’s as unique and beautiful as your love story. Remember, it’s your day to celebrate your love, so make it magical!